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Here is a poll for you and I guarantee you dont know the answer.
How much does a bottle of Budweiser cost at Dunvilles?
$4
$5
$6
If guess the correct answer above tell me at Dunvilles I will buy you and your bucked tooth date a shot. Offer expires August 1. You can find me at the Duck
Take a look at my the crap in the back of the car at the end of the member guest.
What do you see? Identify all the items and I will teach your bucked tooth, tatoo wearing, ho date how to speak Italian. Dos grande cervesa por favor!
Booyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hooooo-leeeeee-shit!!!!
Now that was quite a weekend. I took a poll of my friends and it seemed, collectively, that our hangovers disappeared on TUESDAY morning around 10:30am.
Events of the weekend that contributed to this complete town of Westport bender: Mario’s funeral (Marios is a Westport cocktailing institution and Mario funded and started most of the restaurants and bars in Westport – that’s right he is a god), about 5 different Staples High School class reunions at The Black Duck and finally the Longshore Men’s Golf Association Member Guest Tournament.
When I say “complete town of Westoport bender” I report this from sources that have seen all the benders here for the last 50 years.
What did we learn from this?
Well we learned who the person most likely to be tased in Westport is.
We learned how much a Budweiser costs at Dunville’s
We learned who the retards in town are
And we have two new candidates, all though extreme long shots, for Man of The Year.
Let’s start with this:
IN THE PAST FIVE DAYS THE TOP FIVE RETARD MOVES ARE THE FOLLOWING:
5.) Chuck Snypes partner in the member guest. Why? He turned down a weekend at Shinnnecock Hills in South Hampton, NY to play with Snypes, otherwise known as Mike Honcho. Moron!
4.) The two retards who “fell asleep” in their cars early Saturday morning. One retard fell asleep in the Sherwood Diner parking lot around 2AM with the car on, the lights on and the fucken music blasting or the other retard who fell asleep in his car IN HIS OWN DRIVE WAY!!! Mornical,
3.) The Big Kahuna!!!!! Why? Because after the LMGA member guest a bunch of us piled on to our boats, drove them to the Black Duck and rafted them up on the dock. Guess who was the retard who pulled up, docked the boat, put the outboard engine up, stepped off the boat and went into the Duck and stayed there for a week…..wait did you catch that check list and the critical item left off the check list…….SHUT THE ENGINE OFF!!!!!! FUCK!!!! I left the engine on out of the water. It’s a water cooled engine. It was almost on fire when Joe Troy (MOY candidate) pulled in on his jet ski, noticed the engine was still on and shut it off. Imbecile!
2.) US Airways Tuesday I have to fly to Pittsburgh, the Paris of the Alleghany River Valley for work. Did you know I fucken love work? Anyway I get to LGA airport for a 9:25pm departure around 7pm on Tuesday night. GODDAMN US Airways has the flight listed to depart at 10:50pm. Watch the baseball game, read a book, tunes on the ipod etc…..for the next 3 hours. Three hours later I roll over to the gate and we (there were about six of us) see the plane is GONE!!!!! Are you kidding me. Its 10:10, the sign says (see below) departs at 10:50. I have to say the gate attends looked horrified as we charged them….two of the passengers charged from their seats 10 feet from the counter. No one could hear the PA’s, the airport was packed with delayed, frustrated travelers. FUCK…..rebook on the 7am the next morning and deal with the shit sandwich you were just served. Well what to do. Dumbest mutha fuckers that ever lived!
1.) The Big Kahuna. I win! So Wednesday morning the alarm goes of at 4:55 am, I have slept for 2 hours. I was so pissed at missing that flight (work is fairly stressful these days) I didn’t crash for a while. Anyway, the alarm goes off, I charge to the bathroom, shower, suit up, feed the dogs and head to Larguadia Airport. Well well .... as usual, I get there about 2 hours early, walk in, go up to the to the kiosk to check in. It asks me for a credit card……….guessing?.....are you a retard too? Seriously, you don’t know what it is……….I don’t have a credit card with me. Why? BECAUSE I FORGOT MY FUCKEN WALLET! No ticky! No Laundry! Well I creep home at 40 mph, I don’t want to get arrested for driving with out a licence, slink into my house and spend well needed day not on the road. There you have it. Stupid Ass Kahuna! Just farting in the bath tub laughing my ass off!
NEVER GO FULL RETARD!
Ok we are bloggin now
I had a personal goal this year to get to 5 different MLB base ball stadiums. As of July 1 I am 3/5 of the way there. How am I doing?
Fenway
Camden Yards Baltimore in the First Row
Pittsburgh PNC Park
Danny's thoughts about the Red Sox
And check this video out!
Greetings from the Pittsburgh Airport. I am finally getting a chance to do some blogging because if you take a look at the picture below of the current radar it seems pretty clear that I am completely fucked trying to fly into Boston today. In the mean time I will fill you in on some shit you dont care about or want to read but since you here you might as well
The picture below is me on the first hole at Royal County Down in Newcastle Northern Ireland ealier this month. How about this for a F U I was there a week and as the picture below indicates the weather was warm and sunny. 7 Days in a row of low to mid 70's and sun. Just like here.....NOT!
Some of the places I have been to recently:
London England
Edinborough Scotland
Dornoch Scotland
Portrush Northern Ireland
Newcastle Northern Ireland
Belfast Northern Ireland
New Hampshire
Long Island
NYC
The Black Duck
Rehab
New Jersey
Delaware
Baltimore
1st row of Camden Yards
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
Cape Cod
The Mashpee Center
Weston MA
Boston
Pittsburgh
And I think I was in
Here are some of the highlights
As many of you know at the Shorehaven Member Guest my brother and I went in drag as you can see from the picture below, what many of you dont know is even know we didnt win the club gave us a special gift for our spirit, a special kilt bar stoll, booyaaaaaa its FUCKEN AWESOME!
Why is this man smiling? I almost got my ass kicked in the black duck the other night but when they figured out I was working out with Danny Williams they all bought me drinks and begged me not to kick their ass like the Red Sox have been kicking the Yankees ass lately, here is photographic proof. Incidentely Has anyone seen my boat, I think I left it at the Duck but I cant find it anywhere
Here are a couple more pictures from Ireland Look Who I ran into in Ireland
How are you doing?
I met some of the local people in Scotland, they were nice. However they were tiny little people look how I tower over this wee lad
And finally, drum roll please, here is your hottie
